| To Befriend or Not to Befriend your Co-worker?Have you had a bad experience with befriending your boss or co-workers? Creating a good atmosphere in the office is really important. The question is how friendly you should get with your colleagues, and especially your boss. No, I do NOT mean THAT (wink-wink) kind of (skin-close) friendly. Disaster-zone, or course!!~~ Should you go beyond being office friends and work-party friends? With your co-workers, mostly it shouldn't be a problem to go for after-hour drinks or go to the gym. Taking it to the next level, that is, inviting home for dinner, going to private parties together, and giving intimate details about your private life is, however, questionable. The problem is of course, your oh-so-friendly co-worker could one day get pissed off at you. Could get jealous of you. Could be your competition for a promotion. Or turn out to be a mean, double-faced idiot. That means: Everything you said could be used against you! Some weakness. Some thing you did that's not 100% company policy. Some side-job. Any kind of personal difficulty. Any family problems. The colleague might use this in some way to let you look negative. That means you're open to be picked on. And if these "rumors" get through to your boss, that's BAD NEWS. Somehow that sticks in the mind in some way. ( I've had experience with this, believe me!!) My advice: NO! Why? Too many bad experiences. But if you really want to, do this: - Get to know a colleague really well on a careful first level (cafeteria, after-hours drinks at the most). For at least 6 months.
- Then, if you have a really good feeling about this person, positive vibes, no inner voice warning you, extend the first level. I mean, maybe going out some more. Gym. Saturday morning flea-market. Lunches.
- Give it 4 months. Again, test the personality, really check the office-reaction-behavior. Then go to level 2: Dinner. Letting them get to know your family. Concerts. Being a real friend. But hold back the most personal problems.
- Give it 6 more months. If you then have the experience and deep feeling that this is a real soul-mate, go for it. Letting this person be your real, intimate friend should not be a risk at this stage.
Good Luck! |
