Why the world's ugliest human is the best office employee

By Cornbread Fred at 07/16/07 13:51

Ugly people have one benefit above all the beautiful people in the office environment; and that is that they have no followers.

People are like sheep. They flock together at the water cooler, talk about the other employees behind their backs, make fun of the boss (and that isn't funny if that boss happens to be you!) and generally follow each others behaviors. If one steals and they are really popular, you may have an office supply stealing spree going on.

Ugly people are harder workers because they are not wasting all of their time being a sheep.

What to do if your boss is the world's ugliest monkey

If you have one of those very unfortunate looking bosses who incite snickering everywhere they walk here are some tips of what to do and what not to do:

• DO get on the boss's good side. Bring them coffee, doughnuts, paper clips, whatever they want. They are sure to treat you like the boss's pet ensuring your job security.
• DO compliment them on their attire every chance you get. You don't have to LIE, just take every opportunity to tell them something good about themselves.
• DON'T stand at the water cooler with the rest of the beautiful sheep and snicker when the boss walks by.
• DON'T have any mirrors at your desk so they accidentally see their reflection in it and take it out on you. (Although you can make sure every co-worker that you don't like has one handy!)