The Secret Life of Gordon the Office Sheeple

By Fred Keebler at 07/19/07 12:16

Gordon starts off his typical day by taking a shower. As he washes his wool, he ponders about the paper shredders he must order today.
On his way to SheepCorp(Gordon's Workplace), Gordon realizes his bad choice in clothing. Not only was his shirt too tight, but the yellow tie didn't match at all. If Gordon had a spare change of clothes, he would put his green shirt and yellow tie in a shredder!
Typing away at his computer, Gordon remembers about the shredders he had pondered about earlier. Then he thinks about a shredder's other uses...like putting a co-sheeple in the cubicle next to his in one!
Since Gordon's sleep aid had no effect on him, he was pondering not about the ordered shredders, but a new batch of paper for the shredders he had to order.

Why you need a Royal Products shredder in your cubicle

I need a Royal shredder in my little cubicle world to destroy all of the little notes and doodles that I make all day sitting at my desk instead of working on my important projects.

Shred up those nasty reminders from your boss about projects that are due. Maybe even shred up the finished projects themselves and give them to the boss in a little basket tied with a bow on the due date. Tell him the iguana tore it up with his mighty claws. You can use this especially for projects you have been reminded about day in and day out.

Make sure to add colorful paper to the shreds to make the project baskets pleasing to look at!

Office1000 Adds New Royal Business Products to Website

We are pleased to announce that we have added many new Royal products to our website. We have carried Royal for several years but just recently have added many new products.

The products are in several categories:

Shredders:

• MICRO4S Stripcut Desktop Shredder
• 160MX Heavy Duty Cross Cut Shredder with Console
• 85MX CD/DVD Crosscut Shredder
• AG55X Medium Size Crosscut Shredder
• CX511 Desktop Crosscut Shredder
• HT500X 5 Sheet Personal Crosscut Shredder
• HT700X 7 Sheet Personal Crosscut Shredder
• KS7 7 Sheet Kitchen Shredder
• VF1000MX 10 Sheet CD/DVD Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• VF1012MX 12 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• VF1200MX 12 Sheet CD/DVD Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• VF1700MX 17 Sheet CD/DVD Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• VF700 7 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• VF810 10 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• VF880 8 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• 1610X 12 Sheet Commercial Grade Micro Cut Shredder
• CIA12X 12 Sheet Heavy Duty Micro Cut Shredder
• PX1000MX 10 Sheet CD/DVD Console Crosscut Shredder
• PX100MX 10 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• PX110MX 11 Sheet Console Crosscut Shredder
• PX1200MX 12 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut
• PX1400MX 14 Sheet Vertical Feed Crosscut Shredder
• PX3 Crosscut Desktop Shredder with Pencil Sharpener & Letter Opener
• PX3MX Crosscut and Media Desktop Shredder
• PX70 7 Sheet Vertical Feed Personal Crosscut Shredder
• PX70MX 7 Sheet CD/DVD Vertical Feed Personal Crosscut Shredder
• PX90 10 Sheet Console Crosscut Shredder
• SP12MX 12 Sheet Security Plus Crosscut Shredder
• SP18MX 18 Sheet Security Plus Crosscut Shredder

Calculators:

• 1248PD 12 Digit Heavy Duty Professional Business Calculator
• 1448PD 14 Digit Heavy Duty Professional Business Calculator
• XE100 Solar Powered 12 Digit Calculator
• XE12 Compact 12 Digit Calculator
• XE120 Solar Powered 12 Digit Calculator with Kickstand
• XE24 Compact Easy Open 12 Digit Calculator
• XE36 Solar Powered Compact 12 Digit Calculator
• XE48 Solar Power 12 Digit Angled Display Calculator
• XE6 Solar Power 8 Digit Tiltable Display Calculator
• XE72 Solar Power 12 Digit Tiltable Display Calculator

Personal Assistant Items:

• DM5070 Personal Data Organizer
• DTS630 Dictionary/Speller/Thesaurus
• EZVUE5 Personal Digital Assistant 3.0MB
• EXTREME5 Personal Digital Assistant 2.0MB
• RP100S Reference PDA
• ENOVA5 Personal Data Organizer 256KB

Cash Management Items:

• 135DX 16 Department Cash Register
• 435DX 16 Department Cash Management System
• ALPHA585CX 30 Department Cash Management System
• ALPHA601SC 99 Dept. Heavy Duty Cash Management System
• ALPHA710ML 200 Dept. Heavy Duty Cash Management System
• ALPHA8000ML 200 Dept. Heavy Duty Cash Management System
• ALPHA850ML 200 Dept. Heavy Duty Cash Management System
• CCM1000 Credit and Cash Management System
• PS700 Bar Code Scanner
• TS4240 200 Department Touch Screen LCD Cash Management System

Weather Items:

• MB809 Barometric Weather System
• MH936 World Time and Weather Clock
• MH941 World Time and Weather Station
• WSA555 Desktop Weather Station
• WSA555B Weather Station Remote Sensor

Pencil Sharpeners:

• P50 Heavy Duty Electric Pencil Sharpener
• POINT Heavy Duty Electric Pencil Sharpener Battery Power
• TERMITE Manual Pencil Sharpener

Laminators

• PL2100 Royal 9" Laminator
• PL2112 Royal 12" Laminator

Tape Dispenser

• TD1000 Electric Tape Dispenser

• PFCLOCK Digital Photo Album Clock
• PF110 Keychain Photo Album
• PF140 Carabiner Style Digital Photo Album
• PF56 Digital Photo Album
• PF70 Digital Photo Album w/ Remote Control
• PF80 Digital Photo Album w/ Remote Control

Digital Scales

• DS10 Digital Exacta Scale 10 lbs. Capacity
• DS3 Digital Exacta Scale 3 lbs. Capacity
• DS5 Digital Exacta Scale 5 lbs. Capacity
• EX315W Digital Shipping Scale w/ Wireless Remote 315 lbs. Capacity

Miscellaneous Items

• TimePilot Communication Cable 200 Ft
• iButton Wands 10 Pack
• iButton Wands 25 Pack
• Expedition Portable GPS Unit, MP3 Player and Photo Viewer
• Cup Warmer USB Power
• Fan USB Power
• Ionizer USB Power
• LED Light USB Power
• Vacuum Cleaner USB Power